"You're Too Sensitive!"
Noise, bright lights, smoky air, fresh ink. Unscented Calgon, take me away!
When the AQI (air quality index) hit 132 last week (“unhealthy for sensitive groups”), I put a mask on in my car, AC blasting. Still, tight chest, stinging eyes, burning throat.
Driving across town, I noticed maskless moms pushing open baby strollers, buff twentysomethings jogging, a gray-haired man relaxing on a bench, diners lunching outdoors.
What is wrong with these people? Do they not feel it? See it?
I’m working on accepting that, like it or not, I fall into that “sensitive group,” not just for smoggy air from wildfires but for a host of other unpleasant environmental experiences. Maybe I qualify as a “highly sensitive person.” But label or no label, it’s damn annoying sometimes.
LIGHT
Those infernal LED car headlights. Ouch! My pre-cataract status notwithstanding, those things should be outlawed.
Glow-y overhead fluorescents in doctors’ offices. Can I wear my sunglasses, please?
LED light bulbs in restaurants, stores, performance venues. More ouch.
A glaring-bright-white projection screen at last night’s New York Times Games night at CitySpace, hosted by puzzle editor Joel Fagliano. I pondered putting on my sunglasses but closed my eyes instead. (Bright lights aside, it was super fun.)
SOUND
I’m blessed to be a choral singer, but I’m sensitive to vibrations and acoustical overwhelm, like at last week’s fabulous New World Chorale concert at Sanders Theatre in Cambridge. I get vertigo-y. Not dizzy or spinny. Just off, like internal waves of bodily unsteadiness (no, I don’t have Meniere’s disease). I request a chair, so even if I sing standing, at least I can anchor the backs of my knees against the seat. Or, as I did last Saturday, subtly grip the oblivious tuba player’s padded chairback, just inches away.
Phone calls can be challenging: I’m alert to highway noise, kitchen clanking, city traffic. I’ve been called “too sensitive” more than once by callers who don’t get it. Why would I complain if it didn’t interfere with our having a nice conversation? Aren’t they bothered by ambient noise that comes through the speaker? What does “too” even mean? I can’t help it. It’s just me being me.
SMELL
Scented detergents. Cleansers (except for lemon, for some reason). Garbage bags. Soaps. Cat litter. Scented most anything. Fresh printer’s ink. Paint. Cigarette smoke from the car in front of me—or two cars in front. Solvents. Perfume. Cologne. Body spray. Hair spray. Most hair products. And worst of all: new carpet. Choke!
I was fine till my early 50s and then boom, whatever governs one’s olfactory system took a U-turn. I don’t understand. All I know is the only strategy is avoidance.
TEMPERATURE
Yeah, you guessed it. Heat waves knock me flat, flatter than most, apparently. Easily dehydrated (another sensitivity?), I guzzle Gatorade and electrolyte water just to stay vertical. I don’t know how people who have to work outdoors survive.
And the cold? I can never get warm enough in winter. And my feet are cold all the time (no, I don’t have Reynaud’s disease). Witness my drawer full of fuzzy socks. A wardrobe mainstay year-round.
FABRICS AND OTHER THINGS THAT TOUCH MY SKIN
I didn’t used to feel every label on a top or dress. Why now? Why are sheets either too slippery or too rough and I sense every wrinkle in my pillowcase? How come I get a rash if I leave a Band-Aid on more than a day or two? (I’m trying different brands now.) More questions than answers.
FOOD
Don’t get me started. I’ve been tested for everything. I don’t know what causes digestive distress, buzzy headaches, elevated heart rate, you name it. I might need to settle on bananas, applesauce, chicken soup (low sodium), and rice for the rest of my life. I went to an allergist who doesn’t believe in food allergies. Alas. I’ll keep trying.
What about you? What are you sensitive to? How do other people react? Comment below!
ESCAPE VELOCITY NEWS
STAY TUNED…
TONIGHT! BOSTON LOCALS! I’m going to be MORTIFIED (again!), Friday, July 24, MORTIFIED BOSTON at the WBUR CitySpace, 890 Commonwealth Avenue, Boston. 7:00 pm. I’ll be reading from my seventh-grade diary. Get tickets here!
August 20, 7:00 pm, Newtonville Books, Newton, MA: Author event with fellow Lesley MFA-er Maida Korte about her debut memoir, Gutted: How An Old House Remodeled Me, and our writing journeys. 10 Langley Rd. Link to come.
September 18, 6:00 pm, Books on the Square, Providence, RI: Author event “In Conversation with Ethan Gilsdorf” at Books on the Square bookstore, 471 Angell St, Providence.
Future podcast: On June 9, I recorded an interview with the phenomenal Ronit Plank, of the Let’s Talk Memoir podcast. What an interesting and wide-ranging conversation! I’ll link it here in the fall when it airs. If you don’t know Ronit’s work or her Substack, please check it out.
RECENT MEDIA
July 22: My March essay, “From Never to Yes: How and Why I Self-Published My Memoir,” appeared on Andrea Firth’s Brevity Blog Round Up featuring helpful craft essays.
July 2: Featured on Estelle Erasmus’s award-winning podcast, Freelance Writing Direct: “Micro-Memoirs with Maximum Impact: Distilling a Life into Seventy 70-Word Stories.”
Escape Velocity was honored as a Finalist in the 2026 Next Generation Indie Book Awards (Memoirs/Other) category, one of seven books recognized alongside this year’s winner!
June 7: I enjoyed a rich conversation with Alison Cupp Relyea at the Rye Free Reading Room, my hometown. Deep thanks to Alison and everyone who came out! Here’s the online version of Laura Schiller’s feature article, which appeared in the May 22 Rye Record.
May 13: Featured on Jodi Sh. Doff’s new wacky, wonderful series called “Short Attention Span Reader,” where she judges a book by its cover and riffs with the book’s author. So fun! Be sure to subscribe to Jodi’s Substack, “Only the Jodi: Life as a Sober, Aging, Dementia Caregiver.” Good stuff, always.
For more, visit the Media page on my website.
To order Escape Velocity, go to 227 Press, here. For complete info and links, please visit my website.
Hope you’re enjoying my Substack, where I post my musings every Friday. I’m keeping a free subscription option for the foreseeable future, but I’d be grateful if you’d lend your support by subscribing ($7/month or $70/year) and sharing. Much more on my website!
I share some of this with you, Debbie. To your find list, we could add mendacity, blatant greed and corruption, and maybe worst of all: crass opportunists.
I have a few sensitivities—I need complete darkness and 100% cotton sheets to sleep well, for example—but nothing like your comprehensive list. I feel for you!